Hey 812!
What is 1 or 2 strengths? What is 1 or 2 questions about the essay that you don't understand or are unclear? What is 1 or 2 suggestions you have for revision?
(This was updated today so the date is wrong)
Have fun reading
I handed this in, but here it is on the blog.
One of the biggest issues of Romeo and Juliet is Juliet and Paris's arranged marriage. Arranged marriage may seem like a new concept if you haven't heard of it, but there is much to say about it that you might not have known.
Juliet and Paris's marriage was arranged by the family or more specifically the dad. That is very common for arranged marriages. The motives for this specific arranged marriage were unclear- but not completely invisible. Because the Capulet's are a rich large royal family it is very likely Paris was from another large wealthy royal family, and Capulet wanted to intertwine the two families to make themselves bigger and richer.
But what are the main reasons people have arranged marriages? Arranged marriages originated from the times in Europe when there were monarchys and royal familys (around the time Romeo & Juliet was written). People would have princes and princesses marry other princes and princesses in other countries (like england prince marries swedish princess) so that the countries bond together would be better. The reason modern day people do arranged marriage is probably because of money or religion.
- Make another paragraph to say effects of romeo and juliet's marriage -
One of the most popular places arranged marriages are today is in India. Many familes arrange their son or daughter with another person for religious reasons. In the US, you can threaten to throw you child or disown them if they do not marry someone you chose, but you legally cannot force them to marry. <- Add 3&4 toghether
So even if you have never heard of arranged marriage before Romeo and Juliet, or you've heard tons about it- the reality is it is still around. Whether that is good or bad is your judgement, but it definitely is here. <- Cormac revise this
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ReplyDelete1.your thesis is good.
Delete2. you also backed up your thesis as well
3.I like that point you made about religion too
4. Make your conclusion larger
5. Give more examples not just arranged marriges
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ReplyDeleteI FIXED THE SPELLING! sacrifice URSELF TO SATAN
DeleteThe concept of arranged marriage is very well explained, and there was a lot of evidence. I think there could have been more evidence in the form of quotations, so a possible revision would be including a quote from the play.
ReplyDeletevery sophisticated natasha i c u
Deletei see you too
DeleteI think you did a good job, relating marriage in Romeo and Juliet and connecting it to now. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm absolutely stunned and shocked by your terrific work effort. The effort you put in is literally bleeding out of the poem. I would love to publish this in my book of short essays. The pay is cheap, but the recognition will be worth is.
ReplyDeleteI thought that you did a really good job giving background about arranged marriages. It really helped your essay to have good background on the issue you were writing about. One question that I had was what affect did the arranged marriage have on the characters. I would suggest talking about that when you revise and add quotes supporting this from the text.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeletei liked you romeo and Juliet post is really good. i never thought about Juliet and Paris's love like that. what made you chose this topic, arranged mirages? Is this related to you in anyway?
Ive never read anything better. Ever. I am in shock and I think I might just sacrifice blogger to satan. I love you #forever
ReplyDeleteone strength that i saw was that you showed a lot of evidence supporting your essay. i didn't really see a thesis what is your thesis. one revision would be to state your thesis more clear
ReplyDelete1. A strength about this essay is that the topic is a very relevant topic in the world today and so it is a very good topic.
ReplyDelete2. A question I have is why do the capulets feel a need to become richer. that is kind of unclear to me.
3. A suggestion i have for revision is to focus on spelling more things correctly.
I thought your essay on Romeo and Juliet was good the one thing that i thought you could have approved on was to come back to the book and provide examples in the book and just expand on the evidence.Overall i thought that the essay was pretty good you just needed to provide evidence from the book.
ReplyDeleteStrengths
ReplyDelete- you connect the "arrange marriage" to modern day
- You infer from the fact that Juliet and Paris's marriage that they were to make the family wealthier
-There are no quotations and in your 3rd paragraph, you made it seem like it should be in the conclusion rather than the body paragraph.
-Spelling errors
-Quotations around "Romeo and Juliet" in the introduction
Your Literary Essay is a strong piece and doesn't get off the topic at hand. You manage to perfectly relate to the real world with Romeo and Juliet. Your thoughts are pretty clear on arranged marriages. Hey Cormac! What got you to write about this topic? Do you know anyone that is setup for an arranged marriage.. maybe you and fluffy? 1 suggestion that I think you should look over is.... fix your grammar and spelling!
ReplyDeleteRH and fluffy aren't arranged. They love each other
DeleteI like how you explain arranged marriages in the context of romeo and Juliet's time. I also like how you explained how it is still in practice today. If your message is formal, you shouldn't use your voice so much. Your message is clear but It sounds like you are explaining it to a friend. If the tone is informal, it's fine. good job!
ReplyDelete-One strength is that the essay sounds like he actually did some research but it also sounds like most of this came from his mind. He also connects the topic of arranged marriages to real life really well. He thought of a reason for Capulet to arrange the marriage between Paris and Juliet.
ReplyDelete-Why is there mostly information about real life instead of the book? Where are your quotations from the book? Why didn't you connect the information back to the book?
-Some suggestions are that you could add quotations to your essay and trying to connect your evidence back to the book. You could also try to elaborate more on your evidence.
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DeletePorque fajitas?
DeleteI like the fact that you focused on one topic, arranged marriage. One question I have is what is your opinion on arranged marriage? I think you should voice your own opinion and relate it more to the text. What are you trying to prove in this essay.
ReplyDeleteshawty got them nice facts.
Deletenice blog. needs more spelling checks. bumaye.
ReplyDeletecool story bro
Delete1. like the voice and the connection
ReplyDelete2. what is your purpose?
3. go deeper
4. stop thinking your cool.
Deleteyou make your point clear. theres alot of evidence.
ReplyDeleteno.
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Deleteu still mad bc i didnt tell u what a fajita was right
DeleteStrengths:
ReplyDelete1. Clear thesis
2. Thesis is supported the entire way through.
Weaknesses:
1. Instead of having the paragraph about swedish and english princes and princesses marrying, focus on the story and write about how arranged marriages are made to make the family richer, so they marry rich people.
2. You also could talk about something different than arranged marriages in India
Questions:
1. Do you really need all the paragraphs on arranged marriages today?
2. Could you talk more about arranged marriages that are made for money?
i love you stella. lets make interracial babies.
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DeleteGharvey... I think ur scaring stella
DeletePlease control yourself Gharvey
DeleteHey. Gharvey does what he needs to do. Stop complaining.
DeleteI think you did great work. I think you make a really good point about marriage and how the Capulet's have a planned marriage for Juliet. This kind of marriage isn't as accepted in our society today.
ReplyDeleteone thing i love about this essay is that you put your mind to it! i like how you get to the main point and i have no question
ReplyDeleteu dont like it.
DeleteI AM CORNHOLIO
ReplyDeleteHi Cornholio. Welcome to AA.
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DeleteThis is the territory of Cornholio and I. Now remove yourself
Delete...
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Deletethat would be a series of periods inferring that you don't know what to say.
Deleteyou Gharvey we Haitian brothers. who side are you on?
DeleteDante misspelled Haitian. He had to correct it. What kind of Haitian brother doesn't know how to spell Haitian?
Deleteits called a mistake a lot of people do it it's a human thing. if you don't make mistakes you must not be human
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DeleteA strength your essay had was your discussions and examples to support how arranged marriages still exist today and where and why they exist. A question I had was how are arranged marriages around the world different and similar to the arranged marriage in Romeo and Juliet? You slightly talked about this topic, but you could elaborate more. A suggestion I have for you would be to add quotes from the actual text (play) so that you can better support your ideas.
ReplyDelete#TEAMPARKSLOPE
DeleteYou know she doesn't live in parkslope....
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ReplyDeletescrafdcsaghbdvsahfbdhbcdhbvsdhcbdjhdcgsdcbjdcbsahkxbxhsabxhasbxnegianfsakendakwdnawd
Delete1. Strength- Using examples from the modern world and reconnecting it back to the text.
ReplyDelete2. Question- I don't understand why you had to go into all the history of arranged marriages.
3. Suggestion- Find some solid evidence like an example of couple that did this
Very well Written! I thought it was smart of you to provide backround information on arranged marriage for those who were confused in the text. ! question I had was how did the characters react to this marriage. (What did Juliet think? what did Romeo think? the mother?) I also suggest that you use more details from the actual text and maybe combine the second two body paragraphs so it's more baswed on the play.
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ReplyDeleteY U DELETE COMMENT? O.o
DeleteThis is so true. It does happen mostly in indea. I even sometimes hear mom talking about this stuff about how other families daughters or sons marry someone from another culture or relegian and they get really mad. Your right on how mainly today it's mostly about religion and culture. I think it's bad, I mean why would someone want to marry someone that you don't even know. like you meet the wife or husband literately at the wedding date. That's really bad and can ruin someones life.
ReplyDeleteI think you really did well on the facts and also i liked how you described everything
I like how much information you put in the essay and as I read it I could tell that you researched your topic and spent time learning about it.
ReplyDeleteOne question I have is where did you get all the information, it would be helpful to cite it so people know you researched the topic and didn't just write something randomly.
Two thing you could do when you revise this essay is check your spelling and include more idea's and quote's from the Romeo and Juliet play.
Thank you everyone for your feedback. I love you.
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